The Year in Review

Starting 365 days ago, I was driving away from a successful and eventful 2010 biathlon trials in Jericho, VT to meet up with the Alaska Winter Stars in Rumford, ME for Cross-Country U.S. Nationals. It was at these nationals, on the famed 3k loop, that I realized for the first time that my dreams of Nordic stardom were no longer materializing into anything worthy of recognition. I felt like I had done everything right that season with training, and I had to become realistic about my future in the sport. When a frustrating season becomes two frustrating seasons and then three, I have to wonder where my niche is again.  

U.S. Nationals.
I couldn't blame all my problems on the conditions

For a while after U.S. Nationals I felt like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, always living in my past successes as a standout J2. If only I could replicate those results…. But I couldn’t, at least not in Nordic.
This past year was my first dive into the international biathlon scene, and in February I left for the Czech Republic for World Junior Biathlon Championships. Whilst abroad, I realized how amazing biathlon really is. The team became a second family to me, with a perfect mixture of focus, motivation, humility, athleticism, and humor. I kind of felt that this sport, and this group of people, was my kind of “fresh start” in my athletic and personal life, and it gave me a reason to continue in the sport. I also realized that if I were to improve even in the slightest in biathlon, I could find myself much higher in the standings.

Biathlon World Juniors.
My taste of satisfactory for 2011

Post-season races came and went, and I travelled to Alaska State Championships in Fairbanks and Junior National Championships in Minneapolis, and not racing anywhere near my goals in either. It was hard emotionally for me, to train so hard and have nothing to prove for it, and I took this season as a sign that something needed to change. In an effort to prove to myself that I can push my body to the limit, I signed up for the SKAN 24 hour ski race at Kincaid Park. I got second, only one lap behind the leader due to oversleeping a cat-nap at around 5 am, but I was able to clock 165 kilometers on some of the most challenging courses I have ever skied. I am no longer afraid of death because after that race I realized that nothing could hurt as much as that did.

2 a.m. at the SKAN 24.
100k down and starting to feel the hurt.

Springtime hosted some of the best crust skiing Alaska has ever seen, and my buddies and I went on an EPIC crust ski to Portage Glacier before skiing over the Whittier Tunnel to overlook Prince William Sound. Once the crust got soft around midday, we all piled into the car and hit up half-day Alyeska. That day of skiing has to be one of my favorite days of the year.

Alaskan crust skiing. Perfect in every way.

Once the springtime crust had melted away and summer training was in full swing, I was still undecided about where I was to attend college, and I knew that it was a long shot to be on a college ski team. I also knew that I wanted, above everything, to not give up on what has governed a good majority of my time for the past few years. I decided to train smarter, eat better, and stay focused over the summer on doing everything in my power to be the best skier I could be. I picked up mountain running, and raced in the majority of the Mountain Running Grand Prix races. I made it to the shooting range whenever I could, and got shooting advice from Olympians Tracy and Lanny Barnes. I can say without a doubt that I have no regrets as to my summer training.

Summer Training 2011.
Incredibly Productive and Fun

Summer turned into Fall, and before I knew it I was driving down the Alaska Highway to Montana State University. All I knew about the athletics at MSU was two of my fellow World Junior biathlon teammates were also going to school there, and we’d be able to shoot at Bohart Ranch’s biathlon range to stay on top of our biathlon training. Other than that, I walked in blindly to the MSU ski team situation. My schedule didn’t work around the team’s training times, and I found myself training alone. For the better part of 4 months, I was my own coach, making my own workout schedules, training as hard as I could, alone, to try and prove my worthiness to be on the MSU ski team. The amount of time and focus I put in over the fall was emotionally taxing, and I know that I will never be able to put forth that kind of effort again, even if I wanted to, if I am faced with those same training circumstances next year. I had my ups and downs with pre and early season performance, but when it mattered most (West Yellowstone and Bozeman SuperTours) I couldn’t find the speed, let alone the final gear at such altitude, to merit any conversation as to my hopes as a walk-on. My best was once again not good enough.

With training opportunities like this at MSU, it's nobody's fault
but mine for not making the team.

While attending my first semester of college the only continued success I had was in biathlon. I, like every biathlete in the world, hate it when people say that biathlon is for ‘people that can’t make it in nordic’ and a ‘lesser sport’ than cross-country. To some it seemed that I did well in biathlon because the field is weaker (which, I might add, is false). I felt my dignity in the Nordic community was in question, and my only credibility was in a sport not taken seriously by my Nordic peers. The stress was crushing at times, but I started to see clearly again once I got a change of scenery and came home for the winter holidays.

Giving MSU Skiing the ol' college try

In the days leading up to Trials, I was in heaven. Home was as if I had never left it. The skiing was perfect, my races at low altitude were going a little better, and I had local coaches and family in my corner, a stark contrast to college life.

Trials - December 2011. Not miles ahead the competition,
but still on top

World Junior Trials went really well. Of course it would’ve been cool to win every race at trials, but I’m happy to share the podium knowing that the depth of the Youth Men’s team this year is unmatched with years past. By the time the final race came around at Trials, everyone was exhausted from 3 days of racing in a row, and it was while I was suffering on my final lap that I remembered what kept me going. It was that thought of pushing myself as hard as I could to prove to myself as well as others that I can and will give 200% for a team I love.

And with that, and 600 or so hours of training in 2011, I go into 2012. I enter the year lighter, both physically and emotionally, and look forward to continuing my long path towards my potential.